Song of Isaiah

This melody has been swimming in my head today, applying to everything, as the Word of God is wont to do... I grew up in an LCMS congregation, singing hymns and psalms and liturgy, and many of them have stuck with me. I thank God. I have fallen in love with the melodies that carry Scripture from the pages of the Bible into the air from the pipes of the organ and the lips of my brothers and sisters in Christ, and every so often they play back, sometimes in my own young voice. Today was one of those times.  

This particular refrain comes from an arrangement of Psalm 31 and a song of Isaiah (12:2-9). The melody that has stuck with me is the one printed in the CW, p. 77...

Surely it is God who saves me;

I will trust in him and not be afraid.

For the Lord is my stronghold and my sure defense,

and he will be my Savior.

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—

the Lord is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

the Lord will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

Psalm 16

I've been on a kind of roller coaster this semester, especially the past few weeks. God always seems to put the right words in the right place at the right time. In His Word we rest secure.

Psalm 16

“Keep me safe, O God,

for in you I take refuge.

I said to the Lord, “You are my Lord;

apart from you I have no good thing.”

As for the saints who are in the land,

they are the glorious ones in whome is all my delight.

The sorrows of those will increase

who run after other gods,

I will not pour out their libations of blood

or take up their names on my lips.

Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;

you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the Lord always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my toungue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

be still, my soul

i thought about it as we sang those words...
the thought that it is actually my soul that keeps me still
under the cross of grief or pain,
rather than encouragement from me
that keeps her sane.
and these words came...

a conversation with my soul

she sings out in hymns of praise
and it is the glow of the glory of God
that she brings to my face.
she is mine,
and my salvation is found in the fact that we hold fast
to the love of Christ.
oh faith!
oh soul!
the echoes of the waves upon the walls--
notes struck,
notes bowed,
heads bowed and voices lifted to our God...

internal shouts burst forth,
she cannot be contained;
for love she knows,
by love she's owned,
and here that love is named:

ah dearest Jesus.
Lord, abide with us.
your hands have bled,
your words have fed
our hearts and heav'nly hopes.


she is passionate
and she cries when she sees the Lord behind closed eyes,
imagines his feet coming towards her,
she looks down,
she lies down,
but here she's lifted up.
everything that is gentle and good in the world
is here.

"I am the good shepherd.
the good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep."

though in the dark,
she can't make out his face,
she thinks of white,
of warmth,
of song and light and grace.
and she cries when she sees the Lord behind closed eyes...


open them.
she tells me like it's easy.
open them
and see before you

"... the Sun of life divine
through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine."

"you are too beautiful to be broken," she said to me.

"i break every day...

i am beautiful because 

someone keeps putting me back together."

Job 5:18

picture by lauraisakitten

autobiography, of sorts

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14

She has had a direction without realizing it,
or rather, articulating it.
For years,
a purpose, a motivation.
Humbly she seeks to capture that,
to shape it before her eyes so that you can see too,
so that she knows where she’s going.
“Fearfully and wonderfully made,” she says to herself,
and the words “full well” swell up on her tongue,
spilling over gracefully as she writes them down.
The words on the page draw her in
and push her out—
in asking questions,
out with new ideas—
She is intrigued by the concept of concrete words
representing abstract thought...
To do with myself what is right for such a creation.
To do with myself what is right.

Like an old film reel clicking away on a screen before an empty room
so her memories come.
Full of glad faces,
a wholesome childhood,
good feet to walk and stand upon.
“Do you regret?” you wonder.
“No, I cannot,” she replies.
“Sometimes, it hurts…
But so does the sand that rubs against me when I swim in the ocean.”
Her voice is soft—not quiet, soft.
One has had a successful journey when she can look back and see
she would not have gone any other way.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8

She learned from Christian teachers
to put one foot in front of the other
to move forward,
never sideways.
To appreciate beauty,
and to create it.
She did well, which bothered her at times.
Not quite good enough…
but by whose standards?
Finally, “It is not how you are doing,” someone seemed to say,
“but what you are doing.”
And a tattered road sign appeared to her right:
Keep Going.

“I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.
When you walk, your steps will not be hampered;
when you run, you will not stumble.” Proverbs 4:11-12

A dream awoke her:
“Do not be afraid,” she heard him say.
She cannot shake it, and she is not afraid.
What is it to be wise, she wondered.
Wisdom is not the mere absence of fear,
but the practice of discretion and compassion.
With a spark of this, she took the bend in the road,
which led her away from home
toward another one…
Crossing borders internal and external,
invisible and plain,
the lines of the road formed one solid streak as they passed by…

“Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:5-6

Here, we catch up with her.
It is strange, but she has felt like the outsider
looking in, attempting to find words to fit where she is,
to ask and answer the questions.
She has always wanted to give words
and her love for them—
not simply the letters, but the way they form a partnership,
a definition.
“Do you see how they connect us?” She is excited.
You can see her chewing on your words,
absorbing your inquisition and throwing back strings of thought.
You challenge her,
and you watch the edges of her eyes settle into a squint
as though she’s trying to cradle the thoughts just a little longer.
They’re not ready,
but they will be.
“Make the most of every opportunity…”
This means the journey is slow,
but to take it faster would be a mistake.

On the way, the way home,
she sees their faces,
those talented minds between youth and adulthood.
She calls them to come along for a year—
maybe less, maybe more—
Where? Where are we going?

If you have to ask, I can tell you only this:
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path”
On our way home.

Psalm 139:1-18, 23-24

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

O LORD, you have searched me

     and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

     you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

     you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

     you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in--behind and before;

     you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

     too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

     Where can I flee from you presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

     if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

     if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

     your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

     and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

     the night will shine like the day,

     for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

     you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

     your works are wonderful,

     I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

     when I was made in the secret place.

     When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

     All the days ordained for me

     were written in your book

     before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

     How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

     they would outnumber the grains of sand.

     When I awake,

     I am still with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

     test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

     and lead me in the way everlasting.

to you

to you who have never seen my face,

every kindness and grace

fall around you.

the song near my window

never seems to cease

and i keep wishing

i could send its rising and falling

on to you.

the sky, the wide night sky

bids me to walk out under it,

if only it were still as wide as it once promised,

i would walk to you.

carry this with you wherever you go.

and if you never see my eyes,

they're looking up

for leaves and sun and shadows...

from below, someday from underneath the ground,

this face will rise,

this soul will fly,

and dust like life's sweet breath

will fall around you.

until then, until the end and ever after,

carry this with you wherever you go.

soft light, like cream,

flows through an endless dream,

two drifters know where once was sorrow

never more shall be,

but only grace.

you know my face

and every kindness it endows.

so to this end, i take your hand

and never lightly.

for two faces without names,

we love so rightly.

"now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. now i know in part; then i shall know fully, even as i am fully known. and now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. but the greatest of these is love." 

1 Corinthians 13:12, 13